Arguing

A dusty and rusty skill for lots of people. Completely unheard of for others. Oh they may think that their shouting matches and name calling qualifies as arguing.. but I disagree. This is why...

Wendy McElroy's

Arguing -- the Other Side of Listening

To be absolutely clear on what I mean by words like 'argue' and 'argument', allow me to repeat myself. By 'argue' I mean a verbal exchange between two or more people which involves a disagreement. An 'argument' is a purposeful intellectual exchange between people who disagree and base their disagreement on evidence. The purpose of a good argument is to resolve whatever conflict exists or, at least, to reach an understanding of where the irresolvable difference lies. The ideal argument is a co-operative venture, in which both people attempt to arrive at the truth. This is far from the view of arguments many of us have, or of the view of arguing upheld by our society. For most of us, arguments are loud shrill exchanges, in which there are winners and losers. As in physical contests, the winner of such an argument is assumed to be the intellectual victor when, actually, nothing much intellectual has occurred. To a large extent, we live in an anti-intellectual culture which places a low value on reasoning. Yet we also live in a culture where, to use Henry David Thoreau's phrase, most of us are living lives of quiet desperation. We are cut off from what most philosophers throughout the ages have considered to be our defining characteristic as human beings: the ability to reason. No wonder the art of arguing has been reduced to a slugfest in which you pummel an opponent into defeat. This is a strange way to view arguments. After all, the so-called 'loser' is the one who actually benefits the most from the exchange. Presumably, the 'loser' is the one who gained knowledge and eliminated an error so that his beliefs are more solid than before. The 'winner' may well walk away from the argument no richer -- with no more information or insight -- than when she entered it. Being good at arguing doesn't mean never having to concede a point, or never losing the exchange. Quite the opposite. A skilled arguer will always admit when she is wrong, and will listen closely to opposing viewpoints, not merely to detect their flaws but to honestly evaluate them. Arguing well means respecting reason and evidence.

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